SASSY...A WORD I OFTEN USE TO DESCRIBE MY 3 YEAR OLD...SHE PUTS HER HAND ON HER HIP, SHE SHAKES HER HEAD WHEN SHE TALKS AND EVEN ROLLS HER EYES...I KNOW I AM NOT THE ONLY PARENT WHO DEALS WITH THIS ...SO WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO ABOUT IT..I DID SOME RESEARCH AND FOUND SOME TIPS ON DEALING WITH A MOUTHY KID THAT ALWAYS TALKS BACK.....AND GUESS WHAT PARENTS IT STARTS WITH YOU
1. Model and Explain Respectful Behavior
The first step in quieting a mouthy child is to teach respect. Because children learn by example, it's important for moms to model respectful behavior — with their children and with other adults.
teaching respect means showing it to your children first by listening and then calmly and repeatedly explaining why the behavior is rude. Rebecca recommends attempting to empathize with your child and trying to find out what's bothering her to get at the root cause of the impolite behavior. But do not respond aggressively, Rebecca warns. If your child gets a rise out of you, it can reinforce the obnoxiousness.
"Be patient and try to explain your side rationally," Kat adds. "I guarantee that if you offer [your child] respect, she's more likely to return it."
Tara H. and Tammy V. both suggest showing your child how to rephrase rude remarks. For example, when her daughter says, "I'm not going to clean my room," Tammy instead teaches her daughter to say, "I don't want to clean my room because I'm too tired right now. May I please do it tomorrow?"
Assuming you have taught your child how to treat and talk to others respectfully, then in all likelihood your big kid knows that it's not nice to use a sassy tone or to say mean things. The best thing you can do when your child talks back is remind her who she is speaking to, talk with her, and allow her to talk to you, too, to make sure she understands why her behavior isn't acceptable.
2. Give and Take Time-Outs
Sassiness sometimes results from built-up anger and frustrations, "and unfortunately, as parents, we often get the brunt of their frustrations," says Jennifer S. So if you find that anger is building, it helps to take a time-out. "I will tell [my children] that they've pushed me too far and I think we both need a break before we say things we shouldn't and make the situation worse," Jennifer says.
Taking a time-out and ignoring backtalk can often silence smart-mouthed remarks, because your child "will figure out real quick that sassing doesn't work when it doesn't get your attention or change the circumstances," Stefanie S. explains.
3. Offer Punishments and Rewards
To reinforce the notion that parents deserve respect, parents can use both carrots and sticks, say readers. When Sarah K.'s daughter is insolent, she loses privileges like being able to go out with friends or use the computer.
4. Be Consistent and Patient
Regardless of your approach, your reinforcement of it must be consistent, readers advise. Once you start letting things slide, you'll start to see the return of smart-alecky behavior, warns Angelique G.
Barb S. echoes this point, noting both that your child needs to know that "every time he smarts off, this is what is going to happen" and also that being this consistent can be hard. The reason? You'll feel like a broken record, repeatedly redirecting disrespectful behavior.
I HOPE THIS HELPS SOME PARENT OUT THERE NIX THOSE SMART MOUTHS TTYL...