How to Deal with your Older Child dating an Older Man or Woman

1. Don’t Freak Out

Freaking out may lead to senseless actions that may drive her further into the opportunistic strangers arms. Therefore, it is always advisable to act with calculated caution seeing that you can’t save already spilled water.

2. Establish the Duration They’ve Been Dating

The various careful steps to take after you discover that your 16-year-old daughter is involved with an adult man largely depend on the time they’ve been together. Before you take the proverbial bull by the horns, it is exceedingly wise to investigate fully to determine how long she has been seeing the man in question.

3. Inform Her about the Consequences of Dating Older Men

While the best ways to tackle this two-pronged jigsaw may vary from one unique case to another, the fact that dating an older man may wreck your daughter’s life should be fully acknowledged by every concerned parent.

As such, you should cash in on the obvious daughter-parent trust and honestly counsel your teenage girl on the consequences of making this somewhat unfavorable choice at such a tender age.

4. Investigate about the Possibility of Past Incidences of Abuse

Relying on your personal ingenuity, and privately, undertake a clandestine investigation to establish whether your child has been abused in any way.

If not, you should handle the matter in a discreet manner to salvage your daughter from possible trouble. If you find out there has been evident gross misuse, don’t hesitate to involve the authorities. It’s the only sensible to do as a truly loving guardian.

5. Seek Expert Counselors

Since it may be hard to talk to your girl about her older lover, it is more advisable to delegate this responsibility to a professional counselor. It is, therefore, good to brief an independent counselor about the situation and let them discuss the issue in your absence.

This will create a sense of neutrality and openness and the child will be able to share some privy details she may deliberately hide from you.

6. Enhance Your Parental Responsibility

Given the fact that your daughter may be dating a mature guy due to some particular failures as a parent, making the necessary amends may preclude the necessity of the generally unhealthy love affair.

For instance, it is possible that your daughter is dating looking for the parental love that you withhold from her. Again, there’s a high probability that you have neglected your key money-related responsibilities.

7. Talk to the Male Lover

Although this may not be possible in all the cases, it’s very helpful to talk to your daughter’s lover personally as a way of managing this awfully delicate situation.

Talking to girl’s partner helps you get a better glimpse into the whole situation. It will also provide further insights about the kind of a man the teenager is involved with.

8. Be Positive about the Whole Matter

Some parents rush to criminalize their daughter’s dating mature guys. However, this is entirely unwise as it may push your girl further into the hands of a strange man.

As such, a lot of caution should be employed every inch of the tough way. In any case, you should assume that the lover is a thoroughly good person – that may be the chief reason your child fell in love with him!

9. Gauge the Viability the Relationship

If your daughter’s seeing a married man twice her age, you may prudently conclude that the affair is based on absolute opportunism.

Similarly, if the man’s single and well-focused, then you should be very careful to avoid wrecking a perfectly well-meant relationship.

Remember that you also passed through the same challenges that your daughter is facing currently.

10. Health Status of the Man

This is an extremely important step to take as a caring parent after discovering that your daughter is dating an older male.

In fact, this intervention should overrun all the other tips provided above. If the man is infected with a venereal disease, acting pretty fast can save your girl from deadly consequences.


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